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Our Assessment:
B+ : nice, small novel of failed Hollywood (and other) dreams See our review for fuller assessment.
From the Reviews: - Return to top of the page - The complete review's Review:
As in In Love, My Face for the World to See features a nameless narrator around forty, who gets involved with a woman in her mid-twenties.
He has a wife and kid back in New York, but he's working as a screenwriter in Hollywood; the marriage hasn't collapsed, but he certainly doesn't feel the fire any more -- especially in the bedroom.
At a party he saves a drunk girl from drowning in the ocean, and when she calls to thank him he invites her out, quickly drifting into a relationship he's not quite sure he wants.
She'd come because of, more or less, the usual compulsions: "my face for the world to see," she saidBut the compulsion alone isn't enough, as she continues to battle her own demons, too. She's quit drinking, understanding that she sinks too easily into the escape of alcohol. She sees a therapist, too. Worst of all, she lacks self-confidence, and it shows -- fatally so, the narrator understands, in this tough town. The narrator describes waking next to her one morning, she: "grinding her teeth in some obscure anguish" -- but it's her that flees the bed when he drifts off again, telling him later (to his surprise) that he: "screamed out, several times; and cursed; and then, once, you began to cry". He's the one writing the story, and his focus remains on her, but it's clear he's battling his own demons, too. "There must be someone, or something, you hate very much", she recognizes -- even if she can't see it for the self-loathing it is. He takes her to see the bullfights in Tijuana, and she's overcome by the horror of it -- but she forces herself to stick it out. Apparently believing that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, she pleads: "I'll get used to it, won't I ?" she said. "If I keep watching ? You get used to it, don't you ?"It sounds like something she's been telling herself all her life, and that it's eaten away at her so that much that there's only a shell of a human being left. They get along -- "She discovered I was kind, and that she liked being with me" -- but true feeling and love loom only as complications. He's married, after all -- and he has his own issues. When he asks her: "You're not falling in love ?" she does reassure him that she's not -- but not before noting: "You say it so grimly."From the beginning, it's unclear -- to him, to her, to the reader -- whether or not her almost drowning was accidental or a suicide attempt, and though she tries to steel herself against whatever the world throws at her her nerves still get the better of her. The narrator tries to be supportive, but he has other obligations too; the gulf separating them is too great -- and, of course, ultimately it all falls apart. He focuses on her struggles, but all the while he's struggling too. He knows exactly what he's saying when she asks whether he's writing at one of the studios: I said I wasn't, really; I was writhing.And he admits: I'd always found it impossible to tell the truth about my marriage. I exaggerated, and I wanted to avoid exaggeration; everything emerged, somehow, falsified. I knew that what I said wasn't quite the way I said it was. There were justifications omitted, and motives left out. When I was bitter, later the bitterness sounded false.He's admitting to his unreliableness as a narrator, and there's no reason to think the same doesn't extend to the story his recounting here. He wants to be forthright -- but the most honest moments are the ones he's barely aware of, screaming, cursing, crying in his sleep. The clinical dissection of the girl who can't quite make it -- with an overlay of actual feeling for her that he can't quite suppress -- is an impressive piece of writing. Hayes' expression is strong, direct, but also often beautifully turned, and this is another compact work of fiction that seems just the right size for its story. Hayes can't round it off as easily as he does In Love -- the narrator's wife and daughter are complicating (non-)presences that unbalance the inevitable conclusion -- but it's still a strong, affecting work. - M.A.Orthofer, 18 November 2013 - Return to top of the page - My Face for the World to See:
- Return to top of the page - English-born American author and screenwriter Alfred Hayes lived 1911 to 1985. - Return to top of the page -
© 2013-2021 the complete review
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